Fifty Days to Get Famous

Why you should quit your job before your spouse.

l only wish someone had told me about the many reasons why I should have quit my job before my husband, but the truth is I likely would’ve not listened.
I would have been better off if I’d quit my job before I headed to divorce court. I say this not because of the 10’s of dollars of financial gain I would have enjoyed, but because of how much fucking time it takes to end a 15-year relationship. It’s time-consuming, like attempting to fold a map back into its perfect rectangle over and over and over again then settling for the messy crumpled mess you just end up shoving into the glovebox if you were lucky enough to get one of the cars.

Morning thoughts of piss and bitch

Just made the bus running out the door, down the stairs and up 14 street all the way wondering,’was taking the time to read the digital toilet article in todays National Post worth it ?’… Yes it was; if I could have a toilet that could email me my weight, blood sugar and hormones my life would be transformed. No longer would I have to ask my self ‘am I bitchy?’ my piss could tell me how bitchy I am, if Im likely to offend and exactly how many I’m going to piss right off.
Order me two.
Eva Pea
@evapea

Get famous-today

I started this blog in July 2011. Like many famous folks, I surround myself with good people. However, one of them pointed out it’s been more than 50 days since the blog project began. I lovingly reminded them that I did not say specifically which 50 days.

50 days to get famous.

I get it, I get it, I get it.

While I may not be famous, I get famous. Highs and lows, lovers and haters, raving fans and smarmy critics. In other words, what I call Tuesday.

Persistance is an 11-letter word, which like my skill set, is hard to define without demonstration. 

Below is the reply from a producer to whom I submitted a reality series proposal for the Wits of the Wit & Writing series we created based on the work of the CHEERS project.

As I wrap up this blog project, I resist listing all the stuff that we created while I waited to hear back on this proposal (here is a link to the first entry in this blog, where I first mentioned this unlikely opportunity) and instead I will get on with all the ways I can sign my 8”x10” photos.

~EvaPea

Email received Wednesday January 24, 2012

Hi Eva,

Hope you’re well. 

I have been trying to envision where Wits could fit into a television format and wondering if it would make 13 half hour episodes, which is the normal minimum for television.

Wits definitely has appeal, but I after much reflection, I don’t see it as an ongoing series.

However, I’m doing development on a series about Laughter, and I’m wondering if you would be interested in having you and Wits be the subjects, potentially, of an episode if it comes to fruition?

All best,

E.

2 Days left or is it today?

I started this blog In July and even without my BA ll Plus calculator I know the 50-day mark passed sometime last season. But like most famous folks, I have good people around me who quickly pointed out I didn’t say which 50 days.

It’s important to complete this ’how-to’ for all the nonexistent critics and fans I’ve lost along the way. After all if I can’t WOW the bored and confused, what hope to I have to …. wow myself?

Like the famous, I have done the impossible and I have done the stupid; leveraging my skills, abilities and network to earn credentials, free drinks and enough money to cover expenses only to turn around and give them away to those who are important to themselves.

Since July:

1. I completed my BA diploma. My major is financial services, so after reviewing my student debt I can confidently say I am my own first client, but I don’t think I can afford my rates. I divided my time between the many egos compromising my studies for someone else’s dream. I lost my 4.0 GPA and gained 12 pounds.
2. I tried to go national. Want to see my scar? It’s in the shape of VISA. On the bright side, the credit card balance transfer means I can pay off this waste of money for only 3.99%pa and my hopes to afford a tummy tuck are still alive.
3. I headed up fulfilling a contract whose highlights include:

• increasing Wit & Writing membership by 250% so now we have 80 witty mouths to feed.
  • Putting 12 women on stage in style. 
  • Watching a potty-mouth, onstage Wit offend our client in the audience—delightful!
  • These wits range from comedy virgins, to comedy whores, to stage sows— both delightful and disgusting. I can write this with no fear because, out of respect for me, none of them read this blog.
  • And finally, with the $400.00 we made after expenses, taking the ZEDS crew on a strategic planning year end wrap up in the mountains. I stretched myself to enjoy doing nothing. Literally: I was bedridden after performing lunges between strategy sessions. On the bright side, my family likes me better when I can’t move…my lips.

Next post I wrap up this doomsday blog.

This is what happens when you leave your Blog alone for too long

Comment left on my blog…which I have not written in for several weeks. 

Anonymous asked: 

Not only do I like your blog (haha I found it) but I also am OBSESSED with you secretly. Ok here we go.. I got this idea from a Tumblr spam I got once lol.. I think you like me too and you were always too shy to admit it :3 go to crushmatches(dót)com (wtf it wont let me link regular) and make an account there. Then look up the profile ‘gottagetme19’ (me obviously) I left body pictures.. if you can guess who I am hit me up and we’ll hang soon. You need a C C but its free

—-end of Anonymous 

Clearly I must finish this blog, get famous and get some security. Thank you anonymous bot/person for bringing me back on track.